My relationship with fear
I let fear tell me what to do for many years of my life
It told me not to voice my own thoughts when my father spoke down on me as a teenager and in my 20s.
It taught me to dress weird so I looked cool like other high school students, when I wasn't dressing like myself.
It taught me to not pursue a writing career when writing was all I loved.
And it taught me not to compliment women I walk by, even though I would do it out if respect and boost their self-esteem( Im single. I wouldn't do that if I was with a woman).
All-in-all, fear taught me to hate who I am and be comfortable with who I am not.
If I had still let fear have its reign in my heart, I wouldn't have a Substack newsletter.
I tell myself that I don’t know what I’m doing with this newsletter, to be honest. However, that's not entirely true.
Im giving the world a chance to know something about me: I have learned to love who I am and I am still learning to love me.
I am a creative writer who has a long way to go.
I am a man who compliments beautiful women more than he has ever before, especially women who are kind, thoughtful and brilliant, regardless if they'd give me the time of day.
I am a man who confronts depression, embraces the kid in himself and who reads lots of books at the same time because he is comically unorganized but hungry for adventure and knowledge.
I am a man that corrected my father after he used scripture to make me respect him. I gave him context for the proper usage and went no-contact with him for over two years(he called my sister to apologize to my siblings and I for being a bad father. If you want to know more about how that went, you have to let me know! :))
I have to confront fear every single day, but I do it with faith in God and investing time into learning who I am, even at 38 years old.
With fear in check, I now make room for self love, greater education, child-like fun, and freedom for a wild imagination.
In other words, I love me some me!
Do you have trouble with overcoming fear? Do you have ways where you overcome fear? I'd like to know!